Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
HP Stock up 5% today. Does that mean we should let-off Mark today? Fuck no!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The view presented here basically amounts to one thing,
"FUCK YOU MARK HURD!"
He fucked me by firing me. Now I'm gonna fuck him.
These views are not the views of his company. Or anyone in it.
They are mine.
I'd get over my anger if it wasn't so much fun.
The views contained in this blog are meant to promote the idea that when someone sees Mark Hurd, they should lean over to him and whisper in his ear:
"Hey Mark, FUCK YOU!"
Wall Street is doing it by the minute....might as well join in...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Can you believe that HP is a $100 Billion company?
Can you believe that a complete fucker like Mark Hurd runs it?
He's done a good job of cutting costs, and also done a great job (have you noticed?) of completely destroying one of the pillars of HP: It's culture and talent.
Given the change to disguise it up as "bad economic times," Mark "FUCK YOU" Hurd decided to give us all a pay-cut. Hey Mark, FUCK YOU.
Why didn't you just tell us to quit and leave?
Well, payback is always a bitch. When this economy turns around, you'll see parachutes popping as the best and brightest high-tail it off this sinking albatross.
Profits and P/E will improve for awhile. Then Mark will disappaear, conveniently before the stock price crash. Just as the ex-Commander in Clown (aka McCain's "economic expert" Fiorina) sits and takes credit for HP's rise, Hurd will unload all his shares after leaving because he knows the fall is coming - and he wants to get out before it happens.
FUCK YOU CARLY
and most of all
FUCK YOU MARK!
Hey Mark, FUCK YOU!
Hey Mark, thanks again for taking a big 1% pay cut. You're a team player, aren'tcha? We're all taking a 5% cut. So either give us all outsized stock options (hey, fucker, the stock is about worthless now, might as well spread it around a bit), or step up and suck it up.
Not that you give a shit about history, but we do have these guys who founded HP called Bill and Dave. I think you mentioned them once 4 years ago when you got here.
Anyway, Bill and Dave loved the company and for them, success enough was success.
What would Bill and Dave do?
Surely, money came their way. You are a greedy son'of'a'bitch.
Fuck You Mark!
Bill and Dave took no money when times were tough. They had millions in the bank and thought it was tastless to make money off the backs of hard working folks.
Your $40 million, Mark, spread across the roughly 100,000 folks that work at HP is about $400 a person. Maybe you don't know it but that's a month of college tuition for someone with a kid in school, half a month's rent or mortgage payment, or two months of car payments. It's also about 10% of the
FUCK YOU MARK!
Hey Mark, listen up asshole. How about taking a 80% overall pay-cut and doling it out to the rest of us? Call it 80/20. You give up 80%, we work hard for you, and reduce our pay cut by about 20%.
But you're so smart, and I'm just a regular guy. Maybe I just don't get it...
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself here.
For those that don't know, HP recently announced that "due to the unprecedented economic downturn," HP would be cutting salary and benefits.
For those of us on salary, it amounts to a 5% reduction in our base pay, aka, our salary.
But wait, maybe he does have a heart. He will share our pain. Our fearless leader, the great Mark V Hurd, announced he would reduce his base pay 20%. Wow Mark, that's really selfless of you.
On top of our salary cut, we lose up to 6% in 401k benefits, and another ~2% in stock purchase benefits. So that's somewhere between a 10% and 15% reduction in total compensation. That's a bit more than 5%, Mark. Fuck You!
What does a 20% pay-cut in Mark's base pay do to his overall compensation? Well, let's look at his 2008 pay-package. It says here that we shouldn't worry to much about Mark. Mark made 1.4 million last year and his 20% will amount to nearly $300,000. Ouch, that's three times more than I made. But he'll still make 1.1 million, which is about 11 times more than I made. I think he'll make out OK. Making ten times an engineer's salary is probably about right for a CEO, and I appreciate Mark feeling our pain.
But wait - Mark also took home bonuses and stock options in 2008 to the tune of $40 million! Holy fucking shit that is a lot of money. To put it in perspective, that is what 400 engineers make. That's a bit higher than the ten to one that seemed fair.
FUCK YOU MARK!
So I'm glad Mark will be taking 20% off his 40 million next year - a roughly $8 million dollar pay cut. I'm sure going from $40 to $32 million is going to hurt his lifestyle and ego.
But wait - Mark's 20% reduction is only on his base pay of $1.4 million. Bonuses and options? Oh, I'm sorry, those won't be reduced. So if Mark makes what he made last year (and as Chairman of the Board, he does in effect set his salary), his total reduction in compensation is $300,000/$40,000,000.
That's not even 1%.
You know what I say to that?
Hey, FUCK YOU MARK!