Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Fuck You Mark Hurd!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Poll Results: What do you think of Mark Hurd?

The results of the first annual Fuck You Mark Hurd poll are in.

The results, as you might imagine, are astounding. A full 90% of voters told Mark to "Fuck Off!"

For those of you that are counting: That's 64 "Fuck Off's" and only 6, "I'm too afraid to tell Mark to Fuck Off!" Or perhaps one of those votes is the Fuckinator himself, Mark "Darth Turd" Hurd.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen - Mark Hurd is a complete fuck. We have proof. The people have voted.

"Hey Mark, Fuck YOU!"

You can all return to your regularly scheduled program now.

Coffee + "Fuck You Mark Hurd" = FUMH Coffee Mug!

FUMH! Coffee mug price reduced to $12.99

The best way to tell Mark Hurd to fuck off? Carry around a coffee mug.

Pick one up now!

Monday, March 30, 2009

The official FUMH poll.

Results are due tomorrow for the official Fuck You Mark Hurd reader poll.

Tune back in...!

Another reason to Fuck You Mark Hurd

My memory stretches back to that poster on the wall of my friend's college dorm room, "365 Reasons to Party." It had a bogus excuse for those days that aren't built in parties, like St. Paddy's.

I always thought, "As if I need a reason!"

And so it is with Mark Hurd, aka Darth Turdar. No good news, no bad news. But still, people are walking out of jobs every day due to ol' Marky Mark Turdy.

Fuck that! And Fuck You Turdy!

Over at General Motors, they just shit-canned their CEO. Hey Obama, how about a little help here? This guy has fucked so many people.

From where I sit, I see the decline of HP. HP is a stone, and Hurdy Turdy is just squeezin' every little drop of profit out of it that he can! I give him another year, two tops. He runs off, hailed by Wall Street as the "Savior of Tech Giant HP." What will be left? Scraps. A shell of a former innovative powerhouse.

It'd be funny if it weren't so fucking sad. So Mark, you know what I'm talking about here. You know what you're doing. And, hey, just a shout out to ya to let ya know one thing, "Fuck You!"

Speakin' for the brotha's'n'sistah's @ hp....

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fuck Mark's Hurd's "Moment"

Hey guess what? Our favorite suck-ass CEO was on the cover of Business Week.

Business Week? Wow, you really have to suck some ass to get on the cover of that! I guess he also made it onto another employee-friendly magazine, Fortune. These guys fucking LOVE MARK. The people who read Business Week and Fortune make a living by screwing the little guy. And it looks like they're welcoming Mark to the club.

Hey Business Week...Hey Fortune Magazine....how about you go FUCK OFF!? And while you're fucking off, go watch Jon Stewart telling Kramer what's up! You fucking magazines and the whole financial press were laying in bed with these weasel CEO's while they were building a house of cards. FUCK YOU for not calling it out! Because we sure are fucked now, aren't we?

Oh yeah, and Mark, nice work getting on the cover. They thought you were genius for getting employees to take a pay cut. Surely you must pat yourself on the back every night. For that, Mark, FUCK YOU!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fuck Mark Hurd and Fuck Google For Not Letting Me Fuck Mark Hurd!

I just received a note from Google.

Advertising for this site has been suspended

I have officially pissed off Mark Hurd. So much so, that he's set his minions into motion to shut me down. Hey Mark, Fuck YOU. And FUCK YOU for trying to Shut me down!

We have the First Amendment here in the USA. It says we have the freedom of speech. I promise I will not profane the first amendment. But I lean on you, First Amendment, for my strength and unwaveringness, as I illuminate the truth about the robber-barons of today's society. Mark Hurd is just a half-step away from the looters that are running AIG who are stealing taxpayer money with their bonuses.

HP is the same thing. HP is an employee owned and operated company. And fucking Mark "The Turd" Hurd is trying to steal that away from the people of HP. Fuck you Mark!

The guy makes over 30 million a year - he can fuck me if he wants. Hey Mark, FUCK YOU!

And if you think you can fuck me, well, FUCK YOU because I hope you 're a bigger man than that.

So why did Google shut me down? Fear of Mark Hurd and his millions of HP advertising dollars? Fear of offending a tech heavyweight? What is Google afraid of? Whatever Google is afraid of - we should all be afraid of...... 1984. Censorship. Ideaspeak. No dissent.

Watch out - Bush almost made it happen - Google might be able to pull it off...

Here are their reasons:

(Personally, I can't blame Google, as they have to suck up to their advertisers. Fortunately for us, the Fuck You Mark Hurd message is out. Pandora is out of her Fucking Box Mark! From here, asshole, it's all down-hill. And we all know powerful people fight the hardest when they realize they're on the way out. This means, of course, that I'm fucked. But the truth will find the light. Make me a Martyr, Hurd. I fucking dare you!)

1- Inappropriate "anti" content. But their definition of "Anti" content has to do with race/gender/sexual orientation. I'll say it here: I don't give a shit who or what Mark fucks, I still want to tell him to fuck off. In fact, as far as I know, he's a father to his kids and has a loving wife and family. "So There Google," I'm Pro-Mark-Hurd's-Family. They're probably amazing people and deserve all the dignity and respect in the world. I also deleted a few "off" comments about Mark that had nothing to do with the fact that as a CEO and President and Chairman, he's a complet (as the French would say) fuck. So lets get this straight: Mark Hurd - you are a complete fucker for what you've done to HP and HP Employees and the Families of HP Employees and the Contractors of HP and families of Contractors of HP and the SubContractors of HP and the families of Subcontractors of HP. Hey Mark, wake the fuck up. These are real fucking people. And you are fucking all of them. Majorly. Take some of your huge fucking massive bonus that you've squeezed from the stone and give it back!

2. Offensive Material. Well, fuck, yes, my material is supposed to be fucking offensive. When you type in "Mark Hurd Fucker" I want my site to show up. I guess in the Google World of the internet, this shit doesn't fly. I call it Censorship.

The Solution: Let's Bypass Google and their advertising. Let's make this site popular with just typing "Mark Hurd" into Google.

So what do we all do to drive traffic to this site? (Note, this is self-serving, but if you think I'm in this for ego or selling one or two coffee mugs a year, well, you aren't getting it.)

The Solution: Make this site popular. On your sites, love this site. Link this site.

Web Browsing? Bookmark this site, and come back to this site often.

Hey Google, don't you promise in your mission statement to "Do No Evil?" Well check this shit against your ethical watch-dog: you're shuttin' me down - meanwhile, people are loving my site.

People love what I'm saying: That the CEO's out there today are sticking it to the man. That the excesses of the past generation are evil and we won't stand for this.

And the best way I know how to do this is to let everyone know how much of a fucker Mark Hurd has been to HP.

Oh, and if no one loved this site - I promise you wouldn't try to shut it down....so that means its working....

Hey Google! Hey Fucking Mark Hurd! Catch-22. Catch The Fuck You Twenty Two Mark Hurd. You Fucking Suck!